Where Chester Lives

Yup.  It's another list.  Shoot me.

1. Turn by turn GPS.
2. Cellular Phone with email and web.
3. The Internet (insert smarmy name for internet here, such as IntarrWub).
4. Good pen.
5. Sunglasses.
6. Peet's Coffee and Tea.
7. The personal computer.
8. The transistor.
9. Black Forest ham.
10. English muffins.
11. DVR.
12. Modern medicine.  ESPECIALLY modern medicine.
13. Antibiotics (see above).
14. Bicycle helmet.
15. Memory foam mattress.
16. portable MP3 device.
17. Burritos.
18. Febreze.
19. Ethernet.
20. Fry's Electronics.

And now for the serious ones.  These are more important than the snarky list above, obviously.

1. My God.
2. My wife.
3. My daughters.
4. My friends.
5. My dogs.  Sometimes, even Gigi.  but mostly Chester.

It's true.

1. Chicks dig a man in uniform.
2. All negotiations can be enhanced by a double axe handle chop to the shoulder blades.
3. When heading into the unknown, take your two best friends and a guy you can throw to the wolves.
4. Everyone looks good in a double-breasted pin stripe suit and a fedora.
5. Small, cute, furry things are more trouble than they're worth.
6. Your life can be enhanced if your soundtrack is performed by Queen.
7. Girls are pretty, and going to great lengths to impress them is never a bad idea.
8. You haven't lived until you've had Romulan Ale.
9. The universe is full of strange things.
10. The line between confidence and arrogance is very thin, and easily crossed.
11. There is no room for prejudice.
12. Communication sometimes requires a funny looking thing in your ear.
13. No life is complete without faith and logic.
14. Try to leave things the way you found them.
15. People that wear red shirts always die.  Horribly.
16. In the future, bathrooms will no longer be required.
17. Better technology and increased firepower doesn't guarantee the win.
18. Pausing while you speak helps people understand you.
19. If you can raise one eyebrow, you are the coolest guy ever.
20. You can always give a little more, even if you don't think "she" can take it.
21. Warp cores are easily replaceable.
22. Space is pretty.
23. Value isn't imparted by monetary worth.
24. The best job in the world is the captain of a starship.

Feel free to add your own.

"Good Lord, it's hot."

The two girls sat on the front porch, wishing for a whisper of a breeze and trying to muster up the energy to walk down to the creek.  It wasn't a long walk, but long enough in this heat.

"Let's just go.  We'll like it once we get there, and we'll forget all about how hot the walk was."

"But we hafta walk back."

"'course we hafta walk back!  You gonna grow wings?"

"If only."

They went back and forth like this, Gladys trying to get her sister to get off her lazy butt and just go.  She knew it would be fine once they got there, and she knew that Dean would, too.  Gladys kicked the rocking chair, just to hear something else.  It rocked a few times, then stilled.  She kicked it again.

"Why'd you do that for?  Cut it out!"

"Make me."  She kicks it again.

"I said, cut it out!  You are just doin' that ta get me ta go."

"Wow, you're smart.  You should go to college or somethin'."

"That's it!"  Dean reaches out and tries to slap her sister's head, but Gladys ducks out of the way, smiling.  "I win!  Now, let's go 'fore Joe gets back and finds work for us to do."  She always used her father's proper name, out of earshot.  She didn't like to think of him as her father...she didn't like to think of him much at all, really.  "Oh, alright.  But we have to get back before dinner.  Jackson is coming over later and I want to dry out and get my hair fixed before he gets here." Gladys smiled again.  "Which one is Jackson?"  Dean gets up and throws a shoe at her, not meaning to hit, of course. "You know full well who he is!  Now shut up and let's go before I change ma mind."

Gladys and Dean stepped off the porch and started walking down the driveway.  The path to the creek went past one of the fields that her dad worked, so she hoped that he wasn't in that field when they went past.  Just a chance they had to take.  As they walked along, Gladys picked heads off of wildflowers, rubbing them between her fingers.  If she liked the smell, she would touch it to her neck like perfume, but Dean stopped doing that a while back, stating it was for little girls, and besides, she had real toilet water now.  She didn't need to pretend anymore.  The kicked up dust as they went, but it never got very far.  The humid heat pressed everything down, even the dark curls on Gladys' forehead.  Dean had blond hair, which was another source of jealousy, but Gladys liked her curls.  They made it past the field without ever seeing Joe...just a couple of straw hats in the distance and the tractor a mile off, maybe more.  They turned the corner into the stand of sassafras and hickory, thankful for the shade but sweaty from the exertion and the hot damp of summer in Kentucky.

Like I said...just a beginning, sort of.  Curious to know what you think.

Okay, so here's what happened.  I was riding one of my favorite loops yesterday, the American River Parkway around Natoma Lake.  I got about 6 miles into it when I picked up a piece of glass in my rear tire that cut my tire and, obviously, flatted my tube.  Luckily (or so I thought), I was a short walk from a bike shop in Folsom.  I walked there and bought a replacement tire, which they mounted for me.  I rode away from the shop, and decided that I should just ride back to the car and call it a day.

This is where it gets good.

As I was going downhill to a sweeping left-hand corner on the bike trail, my brand new rear tire blows up.  LITERALLY.  It explodes.  At 25 mph.  I tried to keep the bike upright, but everything was happening so fast...the rear wheel slides around to the right, and for a split second, I was drifting through the corner, my front wheel pointed in the direction that I wanted to go, my rear wheel sliding along to the right.

Here's the thing.  The rear wheel was not sliding on rubber anymore...it was sliding on rim.  and metal rims don't have good traction, usually.  So, it kept sliding.

The bike slid out from under me completely, and I fall hard on my left side, sliding feet first after my bike for about 10 feet.  Not an activity I would recommend to anyone.the brunt of the slide is caught on my left hip, followed closely by my shin, elbow, and ankle.  My bike shoes protected my left foot mostly...I just have a scab on my ankle the size of a quarter.  My shin has a 10' x 4' patch of road rash, and my left thigh is the worst.  I have a serious road rash on it from the hip bone down the side of my leg to about 2 inches above my knee.  It is so severe that there is little feeling in it...just numbness.  And in places the skin is sagging.  It's also quite a wide range of colors...I would dare say every shade of red is represented.  I also thought I might have broken my right collarbone, as it was in alot of pain and i was having a hard time moving my right arm.

I didn't stay on the ground long.  I got up immediately, venting my pain verbally, without intelligible words.

In about a minute, a VERY nice couple on a tandem comes along and helps me out.  Unfortunately, I have forgotten their names...I believe I was in a mild state of shock.  His wife pushes the tandem and he carries my bike back to the bike shop...about 200 yards away.  I called Teresa during this time, so she is on her way to get me.  I walk back into the shop...I hadn't even been gone long enough for there to be new customers.  They all remembered me riding away.  The shop manager was extremely apologetic, and took responsibility for what happened.  While I was waiting for Teresa they gave me some electrolytes because I was starting to get light-headed.  They took my bike to the back and assessed the damage...a minor nick on the seat and the rear rim is trashed.  They are going to replace everything, obviously.  At this point, I knew that my thigh was in bad shape, but it was covered by my bike shorts, which stayed completely intact, and I really didn't want to look.

Teresa shows up a few minutes later, and we decide that we should go to urgent care.  By this point, my right shoulder was feeling better...it still throbbed, but i had good range of motion.  Luckily, there was no one at urgent care except us, so I got immediate attention.  That's when I first saw my thigh...disgusting.  They cleaned everything up, did all they could to maintain my dignity, and Teresa and I went home.

So there ya go.

So, a slew of my "facebook friends" have posted various musical lists that were influential in their life or just important to them in some way.  I appreciate the sharing of this, and it is an interesting exercise which I feel compelled to do.  However, I now HATE facebook lists, so I am just going to post it on my blog.  I am making the separation of the two activities in my own mind, therefore it is good here, but bad there.  I am perfectly capable of justifying this behavior to myself.  It allows me to maintain my elitism while still pandering to the tiny fool of a boy inside of me that screams for attention.  So, here goes.

List Number One.  The Artists I Like.

These artists are not listed in any particular order, and I have liked or disliked them during different times of my life.  Some are iconic, some not.  Some you will loathe, and make hasty judgments of my intellect based on my affinity for them.  This is me, not caring.

1. The Beatles -- if they aren't on your list...shame on you.
2. Led Zeppelin -- "Kashmir" plays in my head while I walk down the street.
3. Van Halen -- DLR, not SH.  or that other hack.
4. Red Hot Chili Peppers -- his voice is awesome.  And I sound just like him in the shower.
5. The Pretenders -- Punk meets New Wave, takes it around the corner and smacks it upside the head.
6. Elton John -- Yeah?  So?
7. Elvis Presley -- I blame my mom.
8. Johnny Cash -- So cool it hurts to look at him.
9. Queen -- I'm a scaramouche.
10. Squeeze -- COME ON.  You can't write "She's so lucky that she doesn't have to shave, I'm so lucky that I'm not doubled up in pain" and not have me like you.
11. Pearl Jam -- The ribeye steak of guitar riffs.
12. Hansen -- just seeing if you were paying attention...
13. Peter Gabriel --  you got something in your eye there.
14. Aerosmith -- I'm incredibly afraid of Janie.
15. The Police -- stadiums can no longer hold Sting's ego, but the music is still teh awesome.
16. Alison Kraus -- she's a smart aleck with a mandolin.  So awesome.  And I know I keep using that word.
17. Ben Folds -- fantastic lyrics, cool piano bits.
18. BareNaked Ladies -- these aren't the hipsters you're looking for.
19. The Beach Boys -- Best.  Christmas. Album. EVAR.
20. Johann Sebastian Bach -- Nice wig, dude.
21. The Who -- The part of the British Invasion that felt...invasive.
22. U2 -- More self-absorbed than most Hollywood people, but they can still rock.
23. INXS -- I sound just like him in the shower, too.
24. Corinne Bailey Rae -- Such a big voice from such a tiny girl.
25. Dave Matthews Band -- That drummer is blowing bubbles while he plays.  BLOWING.  BUBBLES.

I promised myself I would keep my lists at 25 or less.  NEXT.

Albums.  In No Particular Order.  I find myself playing these over and over on my ipod, or they reached me in some particular way during some time in my life.  Again, you may love them or hate them.  But this isn't your list, it's mine.

1. "Songs From The Big Chair" by Tears for Fears -- the first album I ever bought.  On tape (remember those?).  I wore it out in my crummy little tape player.
2. "Violator" by Depeche Mode -- best road trip album ever made.
3. "Joshua Tree" by U2 -- After Boy, which kinda stunk, and before all the media-garbled crap that was 1991-94.
4. "My Generation" by The Who -- The kids are alright, man.
5. Led Zeppelin I-IV.  I can't think of a song on any of these albums that I don't like.
6. "1984" by Van Halen -- I remember recording these songs off of "Casey Kasum's top 40" played on Sundays.  Again on my crummy little tape player.  "Jump" is still one of the most awesome songs ever.
7. "A Hard Days Night" by the Beatles -- I really love this album.
8. "Youth" by Matisyahu -- He's a Hassidic Jew.  From Austin.  Singing Reggae.  And the lyrics are great, and his vocals are all over the map.
9. "Ten" by Pearl Jam -- I always liked them better than Nirvana...and it turns out, they were less crazy.
10. "1972" by Josh Rouse -- These songs are sunny and bright, with heartbreaking lyrics.  And I'm starting to sound like a Rolling Stone writer.
11. "Synchronicity" by The Police -- When they still rocked.  Another tape that I wore out.
12. The "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?" soundtrack.  "Man of Constant Sorrow," "Big Rock Candy Mountain," and "Down To The River To Pray."  And the rest are really good, too.
13. "New Favorite" by Alison Kraus/Union Station -- "The Boy Who Wouldn't Hoe Corn" is one of the funniest songs ever.
14. "Madman Across The Water" by Elton John -- everyone else picks "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road."  I like this one better.
15. "Illinois" by Sufjan Stevens -- Yes, he's a pretentious indie hipster.  But this album is great, and sounds like a high school band playing songs they want to play.
16. "Crash" by Dave Matthews -- Sweet like candy to my soul...
17. "The Complex" by Blue Man Group -- Best show ever *remembering Emily and I singing "White Rabbit" at the top of our lungs while Tom and Teresa stared at us.*
18. "American IV - The Man Comes Around" by Johnny Cash -- yes, they are covers.  but the original artists wishes they were this good.

Okay, enough for now.  time to get on a plane.