Who, in their right mind, thinks that the ongoing conflict in Iraq is a good idea? What, exactly, is it solving? One friend stated, "for every soldier we lose, they lose three." Why is that acceptable? What makes us think that killing jihadist fundamentalists is somehow helping our country to become more "secure?" What are we willing to trade for this false sense of security? What makes us think that we have control of it in any way, shape, or form?
I ask these questions because, very recently, I have seen someone who is close to us have their life completely changed by this war. No, he isn't dead. But he is changed, and it is breaking her heart. She weeps, and Teresa and I sorrow for her.
No, it isn't "entirely" the war's fault. I, of all people, know that you can chose to break the pattern and be purposeful in your living and choose right, no matter how hard. But I also know that things would have been much easier without the negative influences. I know that not everyone feels they can make that choice, or even see it as a choice to be made. That doesn't negate the existence of the choice. I also know that there can be, and likely are, many other factors. But I also KNOW that no man can endure 1+ year of conflict, aggression, and loss if life without being significantly changed. Rarely for the better...
She is devoted to him and loves him deeply. She is a beautiful person (not perfect, but who is?). He is rejecting her and wants to live his own life without her around. If he ever reads this, he needs to know that he is making a mistake that will be a lifelong regret. If she ever reads this, I hope she knows that she isn't broken as a person because of his current attitude. And that the story isn't over...it's dark now, but while breath can be drawn, there is hope. They can make it alright, if they both work at it. But he has to change how he is seeing this. He is rejecting a godly wife and loving woman. That is a fool's path, and anything that he tells himself to justify his action is piling lies on top of foolishness. I may sound harsh, but it's because, in part, I know what he's doing and that he really does have a shot at making this better, if he grows up and acts like a man. He just needs to think longer than right now and be willing to swallow his pride.
I may be completely wrong about him. I hope and pray that I am, because there's a better shot of it working out if I am wrong. But I don't think I am.
And I know that his time spent in conflict has much to do with how he is making choices right now, and how he sees the world in general.
Go back to her. She needs you and wants you and loves you, and you can have an amazing life with her. Go back. Do the hard thing, because the hard thing is always worth it. Always.
