Where Chester Lives

So, I know I'm lame. You don't have to tell ME that.

I found myself with this fairly constant daily internal conversation over the past few weeks. It went something like this, with minor variation.

Internal Voice: You should really update your blog. It's been forever.
Me: Yeah, I know.
Internal Voice: Well? What's keepin ya?
Me: I'm so "insert rationalization here."
Internal Voice: Uh-huh. Glad that's workin' out for ya.

So, anyway, without further ado, it's the Long Absence Update! Complete with shiny bits!

Topic One: Parenthood

In recent months, I have been thinking alot about my abilities as a dad. Sometimes, I think I'm pretty okay. Other times, I feel that I am far short of my own expectations. With Anne heading full steam into teenage years, and Emma not far behind, it really got me thinking about this stuff. I love them both, that goes without saying. But have I been a good dad, or am I more self-focused in my daily life? It's funny that I would have these thoughts, because it seems that my friend Jim Gardner has been having somewhat similar thoughts. And we didn't even confer! What this is all leading towards is the recommendation of a book; Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: 10 Secrets Every Father Should Know by Meg Meeker, M.D. I just finished this last night, and can say without hesitation that it has impacted me deeply. I didn't walk away from it thinking I'm some big doofus with no idea on how to parent. Meg has a wonderful writing style that convicts without finding fault in the individual. She's also straight as an arrow and doesn't pull any punches. She mines her deep experience as a pediatrician and shows you what your daughters are struggling against, as well as enabling you, as a father, to understand the importance of your role and the impact you have on her life now, and in her many years as an adult. Because of her book I have renewed my commitment to fatherhood in a few ways:

1. Spend more one-on-one time with them. This is vital in having an open communication with your children, and is especially important for girls, since they are generally more verbal than boys.
2. Be firm and unyielding without being harsh. I have tended to be the "yelly" Dad sometimes, using volume to make my point rather than using firm commitment coupled with an understanding and listening ear. I learned that from my father, I guess. It's time to unlearn it.
3. Recognize that children and teenagers do not have the mental processing power to always make good choices. I knew this already, but it really helps me with my daughters, since they are so exceptionally intelligent. Intelligence does not equal wisdom, and while I need to encourage their thought process, I also need to be there to set the boundaries and to guide them through these years, showing them how to process information and make clear decisions that are correct.
4. Work on my own character and integrity, so that they have a target to shoot for when choosing a mate.

I could really keep going...if you are a father of daughters, get this book. I can't tell you how important it is. And even if they are grown, it isn't too late.

Topic Two: Cycling

I have been riding alot more in the past three weeks or so, averaging 85-100 miles a week. I feel better, that's for sure. I think I'm losing weight...I'm trying not to keep weighing/measuring myself because I don't want to lose focus. Part of it is because I am participating in the LiveSTRONG ride again this year. Follow that link to sponsor me! I will be riding 100 miles in Portland to support cancer survivorship. I did the ride last year in Orange County...the difference is that this year it's in Portland and Lance will be there! I hope to be able to hang with him for ~100 meters on a hill. The other part is I am really tired of being 30 pounds overweight. I don't like looking down at my gut and seeing that paunch. Also, since I work from home almost full-time, it gives me a chance to get out of the house every day, which is really great for my mental outlook.

Dave came up a couple of weekends ago and we rode the Clementine Loop in Auburn. That was AWESOME. I wish we had left earlier in the day so we could have ridden Stagecoach and Foresthill Divide as well...next time. I posted some pictures of it over in the gallery. You should check it out. It was a fantastic 7.5 mile loop, starting with a 3.5 mile climb up mostly pavement. I wasn't a fan of the climb, but the pay-off was great. I don't HATE climbing, but I don't like climbing pavement on my mountain bike...it's heavy, has a big contact patch, and the rear suspension soaks up alot of my effort. I'd much rather climb in dirt on my mtb. Anyway, after that climb it was fast rollers, jumps, and short technical patches back to the car. That's where my bike shines...Five inches of travel really smooths out the chop and allows me to float over sections without dabbing that Dave has to clip out for on his 2.5 inch travel bike.

Another reason to lose 30 pounds: I would automatically climb better.

Topic Three: Guitar

This is enough for its own post, but I thought I would include it here.

So...after I had my guitar for a few weeks, my neighbor comes over to check it out and says that the action is a little high. Seeing as how I'm a complete newbie and don't want to screw up the instrument, I take it to a luthier. He checks it out and says, "I can't adjust the action on this. The neck is completely warped. Since it is new, you should send it back and get it fixed/replaced." So, I do just that. Initially, I called Washburn and they said that they would fix it, but that I should probably just send it back to where I bought it and have them replace it completely, since that would be quicker. No problem. I send it back. However, it takes almost three weeks to get the replacement, which peeves me just a bit. When Music123 got the return, they basically sit on it for 5 days before issuing the replacement. That's annoying, but it's okay to go through once.

So, I get the replacement. I open it up and try to tune it, but guess what? The strings are litereally laying on the frets from the head all the way to about fret 14. That's two thirds of the notes that would be completely unplayable. UNACCEPTABLE. I call Music123 and voice my ire. We go through the same return procedure, this time with their assurance that it would be expedited and that I would receive the replacement via overnight Fedex.

Wait. We aren't done yet.

I take it down to my local Fedex joint to ship it back, thinking all will be good. It ships out, but it isn't overnight (I come to find out later that Music123's RMA procedure doesn't allow for overnight shipment on the return, just on the replacement. HOKEY.) I take a deep breath and say, "that's okay. I need to learn to be more patient anyway. This is a learning opportunity." I check the tracking every day to see where it is on its way to South Bend, Indiana. When it gets to Chicago, there is a "shipping exception." Fantastic. I call Fedex to find out exactly what that means. What it means, in my case, is that the barcode got damaged/partially removed and that this will delay its arrival in Indiana by a day. Okay, I call back on the day of its supposed arrival. No dice. They aren't exactly sure where it is. Its on a truck, not on a truck. They put a trace on it to find it. I call back the next day. Still no joy. They aren't sure where it is or why it hasn't arrived at its destination. I talk to management. I work very hard to maintain my cool, but it isn't easy. I call back on the following day. Its on the truck and will be delivered that afternoon. Great. Except here's the deal. Later that day, it shows up AT MY HOUSE. That's right. It seems that in the damage of the shipping label it uncovered the old shipping label and some knucklehead decided that it should go back to California. Not only that, the box, which left in good shape, looks like it was dragged across the country behind the fedex truck. Both times. Okay, this is where I lose my cool. I call Fedex and DEMAND that they take this and overnight it to Indiana, which they do. It arrives in Indiana and is received by their shipping department. I call Music123 later that day to confirm that I am still being expedited and that the replacement will be shipped to me via overnight. They confirm this.

Except it didn't really happen that way.

It still went through their 5 day let's-sit-around-and-pretend-we-care-about-our-customers-but-really-don't "return process." Unfortunately I did not have the opportunity to follow up with them during this time because my workload was pretty high. Still is, but I managed to finally make a phone call last Friday. They told me about their "process," which I called them on. I then began to let them know, in no uncertain terms, that they were going to ship me a guitar THAT DAY to arrive on MONDAY and that I would not be doing business with them again, nor would I ever recommend them.

I finally got my guitar on Monday. It is playable, which is good. However, I'm afraid to take it in to the local guitar shop for fear of finding a warranty issue AGAIN. I will anyway...in a few days. I want to actually play it some first. I have determined that if it is still bad, I will not contact Music123, but Washburn directly and let them know of my time with this guitar and see what they can do about it. I have heard nothing but good things about them as a company (which is why I chose the guitar in the first place). Keeping my fingers crossed...

Conclusion

That's all for now. Hopefully I can get back to a more regular update schedule. I have more to say, but I need to get back to work now. Asta.