Where Chester Lives

Who, in their right mind, thinks that the ongoing conflict in Iraq is a good idea?  What, exactly, is it solving?  One friend stated, "for every soldier we lose, they lose three."  Why is that acceptable?  What makes us think that killing jihadist fundamentalists is somehow helping our country to become more "secure?"  What are we willing to trade for this false sense of security?  What makes us think that we have control of it in any way, shape, or form?

I ask these questions because, very recently, I have seen someone who is close to us have their life completely changed by this war.  No, he isn't dead.  But he is changed, and it is breaking her heart.  She weeps, and Teresa and I sorrow for her.

No, it isn't "entirely" the war's fault.  I, of all people, know that you can chose to break the pattern and be purposeful in your living and choose right, no matter how hard.  But I also know that things would have been much easier without the negative influences. I know that not everyone feels they can make that choice, or even see it as a choice to be made.  That doesn't negate the existence of the choice.  I also know that there can be, and likely are, many other factors.  But I also KNOW that no man can endure 1+ year of conflict, aggression, and loss if life without being significantly changed.  Rarely for the better...

She is devoted to him and loves him deeply.  She is a beautiful person (not perfect, but who is?).  He is rejecting her and wants to live his own life without her around.  If he ever reads this, he needs to know that he is making a mistake that will be a lifelong regret.  If she ever reads this, I hope she knows that she isn't broken as a person because of his current attitude.  And that the story isn't over...it's dark now, but while breath can be drawn, there is hope.  They can make it alright, if they both work at it.  But he has to change how he is seeing this.  He is rejecting a godly wife and loving woman.  That is a fool's path, and anything that he tells himself to justify his action is piling lies on top of foolishness.  I may sound harsh, but it's because, in part, I know what he's doing and that he really does have a shot at making this better, if he grows up and acts like a man.  He just needs to think longer than right now and be willing to swallow his pride.

I may be completely wrong about him.  I hope and pray that I am, because there's a better shot of it working out if I am wrong.  But I don't think I am.

And I know that his time spent in conflict has much to do with how he is making choices right now, and how he sees the world in general.

Go back to her.  She needs you and wants you and loves you, and you can have an amazing life with her.  Go back.  Do the hard thing, because the hard thing is always worth it.  Always.

Can't stand that song, but it is an appropriate title for today's date.  After all, today is the third day of Christmas (of the twelve).

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday.  We spent time with family, counted our blessings, and kept it very low-key this year.  No extravagance, no hectic travels to and fro to visit relatives/friends.  With the Christmas play dominating our existence for so long, I don't think we could have done it any other way.  Oh...and the play was a resounding success.  All four performances were good, but the finale was over the top good.  We hit all of our cues and got all the songs right and on key.  I expect to get a video soon, and may post bits to youtube, if'n you want.  The performances and the pick up rehearsal were fun and I miss them, but it's nice to sit here on a Saturday and have the whole day to get things accomplished.  Like laundry (which I am doing now).

This is likely to be my last post in 2008, so a bit of retrospect may be in order.  Over all, this has been a successful year for the Thorp family, but we have had (and continue to have) our share of drama.  My joy in my children continues to grow, even when I think that they couldn't make me more happy.  Well, they could (if they would listen all the time, not just when I get Dad-voice).  Anne is turning into a real young woman, and watching her try and bridge that gap between girl and woman has been...interesting.  She's the smartest person I know, so she does pretty well.  However, she, like her dad, sometimes lacks in compassion (we both think too much), and we tend to not be empathic towards other people.  Something we both need to work on, I guess.  Emma is just starting the journey into womanhood and we are all holding on for dear life.  She solves problems with her feelings, which is great for relationships but doesn't work so well for other things.  She has a very tender and compassionate heart (like her mom), but also isn't afraid to speak her mind (again, like Mommy).  I would advise those in close proximity to Emma within the next eighteen months to proceed with caution and handle carefully.  Having said that, I love them both very much, and will always be their comforter and protector, as long as they need me in that role.

Teresa is the yin to my yang, and I couldn't imagine my world without her.

My mother........it's difficult for me to write about her.  I love her, without question.  But our relationship is very different.  I think it's different from most mother/son relationships, but I may be wrong.  I really can't say much more than that.  There is love, but it is in the shadow of all the current challenges.

Teresa's parents are awesome people.  Jack has filled the father role in my life left by the loss of my own father, and I love him dearly.  Thank you both for the great sacrifices you make to help us.  We deeply appreciate and love you both.

Our involvement at church has grown significantly this year, and with it we have started to build some great relationships.  There's some challenges there, too.  Most of it mine, I'm sure.  You see, I built such strong and deep bonds with Adam and Paul that it is difficult for me to include others in that group.  I don't make close friends easily...never have.  Dave, Adam, and Paul are the best guys any friend could ever hope for (I miss you, Dave!  COME VISIT!!!). I am beginning to feel a closeness with Harry O...we share some common interests, so that helps.  we just need to go caching, which is his passion, and something I've always wanted to do ( I know, Tom.  I should really do it).  Speaking of Tom, if we lived close together, I really think I would have the same type of relationship with him that I have with Adam, Paul, and Dave.  The only barrier is distance.  Such is life, I suppose.  Teresa is much better at building relationships than I, and she has really blossomed.  So, overall, life is good here.  My three friends are certainly not out of my life (I just had dinner with Adam and Paul [and families] this past Monday), but we do see less of each other.  It just requires more effort on all of our parts to get together.

Work is really good.  They like me and I like them.  Here's to hoping that '09 sees great success in that category, and that God continues to bless my efforts there.

That's all for now.  In closing, please keep Tim and Tonya close to your thoughts.  Their current challenge is unique and they need every ounce of prayer that you can muster.

But they're SO GOOD.

In other news, locally owned Mexican restaurants have the best Chile Verde. 

Movie Review:  Quantum of Solace.  Okay, so I don't' normally do this, but I'm gonna do it this time.  I saw this movie a couple of weeks ago, and the further away I get from the actual viewing, the more underwhelmed I become.  I have friends who won't agree with me on this, but I'm beginning to not have liked it.  Deal.  First, there is the ludicrous title.  I KNOW it's an Ian Fleming short story title (which has no plot relation to the movie), but that doesn't make it a good title.  That title completely stinks.  I can smell it from here, and I'm nowhere near it.  Second -- this felt like a Bourne movie, not a Bond movie.  Sure, it was action-packed.  Tons of explosions and people getting beat up in a ridiculous manner.  Honestly, some of those fight sequences were tough to accept.  No human could withstand that amount of punishment and continue to be concious, much less upright.  I wanted more gadgetry, more subterfuge.  More acting, if you will.  I can't say I hate the movie, but I can't gloss over the discrepancies in my brain, either.  I do like Daniel Craig as Bond, i think he makes it convincing.  He's not the best Bond ever though...that's Sean Connery (IMO).  Okay.  Enough of that...it's not like anyone cares, anyway.

Next week marks one year at WatchGuard, and I can hardly believe it.  I still like this job as much as I did when I started, and I really like my boss, Pete.  It's really cool working for someone who has the technology down cold, and is personable as well.  He's a very smart guy.    I talked with my buddy David yesterday and Symyx (the old company) had another round of layoffs.  Sadly, he was part of the RIF.  Merry Christmas.  They laid off 90 people.  If that company is still in business in 2010 I'll eat my hat.  I sincerely hope that everyone I formed relationships with while I was there is NOT resting on their laurels and is actively seeking something else.  I know it's a tough time to be looking, but there are things out there.  If any of you read this, please take action.  It's much better to leave on your terms than it is on theirs.  Ask David.  Or Sam.  Or Brad.  Or Howard.

I tried to start drinking only water this week.  I failed spectacularly.  Cherry Coke is good, too.  I will try again, starting today.

Cya.

You know you are in an airport when a bottled water and a yogurt cup costs 8 bucks.

I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving.  We had a pretty good one, as usual.  The highlights were:

• The cabin.  I love going to J&D's cabin at this time of year.  located on the southern slope of the Sierra Buttes, you get some pretty good views of the valley through the trees, and the opposing ridge line.  The weather was really great, and we were surrounded by fall color.  No, Jeremy, I didn't get to go for a hike at Love Falls this time, so no bear sightings.
• The meal.  Yes, its about the food.  I brined the turkey, as usual, and it turned out really great.  All the fixings were good, too.  And Dorothy is so comfortable with me cooking in her kitchen now that she took a nap.  You shoulda been there the first year...you woulda thought that I was going to somehow wreak mass destruction.  the thing is, I pretty much did.  I started the turkey really early (it was stuffed, so stuffed birds take longer), and because of it's massive size, it was hanging off the back end of the pan.  So, fat dripped onto the stove bottom, the kitchen smoked up and the fire alarm went off.  At 5:30 a.m.  EVERYBODY got up, and I had to pull the bird out and Dorothy poured salt on the drippings, which stopped the billowing waves of smoke.  Also, since this was much earlier in my cooking career, I made a HUGE mess in the kitchen, and Teresa expended much effort cleaning up after me.  So, you can't really blame her.  It tasted really good, but the aftermath was impressive, to say the least.  I've gotten better, but the smoke alarm still goes off every year...
• Satellite TV.  The reason that this is a highlight is that it was a huge fiasco.  Personally, I could have cared less, but Jack was pretty adamant about having working TV.  He brought his receiver from home, which expects two inputs.  The cabin dish only has one output.  So, I spent a significant amount of time moving the one input back and forth, because it would only sync the guide on input one, but only display actual TV on input two.  And each switch back and forth was a 10 minute affair.  And figuring out that this was the procedure was a one hour affair upon arrival.  I love ya, Jack, but this wasn't my favorite part.
• My mom.  She came up with us, so it was nice having her.
• Rick.  It's always cool to see Teresa's big brother.  I feel like we would be closer if we lived closer...he's a pretty neat guy.

That's it for now.  I need to finish my 5 dollar yogurt and hop on a plane.

Peace.

So...about Brandon and Chad.

I don't think you could find three guys with more different backgrounds.  I always viewed Brandon as "rich."  You see, rich and poor made a big difference to me when I was a kid.  We always had very little, and, at school (especially in Jr. High), i really felt the difference between the haves and have-nots.  Anyway, i thought Brandon was rich because he lived in town and wore nice clothes.  Chad and I had more in common, economy-wise, but I still felt that he had more than me.  Anyway, it had a bearing on who I thought I could be friends with.  As it turns out, and lucky for me, those guys could really have cared less.

Brandon was the smartest guy in school.  He may not say so now, but I know that he was.  chad and I weren't fools, but I don't think we were as smart as Brandon.  At least, I wasn't (and probably still not).

The friendship formed slowly over time.  In fact, I can't exactly remember when it started.  I know we shared some classes together...and Brandon and I were on the track team.  Brandon also played football, but i was too shrimpy to play football or basketball.  Anyway, it started by us meeting in the morning before classes and playing cards in the library.  We would play spades, hearts, pinochle, or bridge.  I KNOW.  Three high school guys in the school library playing bridge.  Girls were throwing theirselves at our feet.  The coolest time, though, was when the three of us would go over to the Shaw's on Sunday afternoon to play pong and Nintendo.  I remember Chad and I working out the sequence to beat every character in Mike Tyson's Super Punch-Out.  Remember, this was before Al Gore invented the Internet, so we couldn't exactly Google it.  I remember losing every game of ping pong to Mr. Shaw that I ever played.  I don't know that any of us ever beat him.  I remember shooting baskets in the backyard with the two Shaw boys.  Everything was down in the basement, and we would just show up, go downstairs, and pretty much take over.

This was all during our sophomore and junior years.  I had alot of family drama towards the end of our junior year.  Funny thing, I don't remember the major stuff...I remember conversational snippets and particular events very clearly, but I can't string them together into any cohesive timeline.   The mind does funny things to defend itself.  Because of the drama, our friendship changed, especially in our senior year.  Plus, I got a serious girlfriend (at least, I thought it was serious).  So you know how that goes.

Chad and I would also go out with a group of guys and get into various bits of trouble.  Patrick, Steven, Marshall, Eric...just to name a handful.  We would go bowling, or go buy toilet paper, saran wrap, and shaving cream to torture the guy who couldn't hang with us that night.  Or the pretty girl of choice...it didn't matter.  We would go to Patrick's house alot cause they had a pool table, and his dad would turn a blind eye to our shenanigans.

There's more, but I have a hard time dis-entwining it from my bad/lost family memories.

Okay, time to jump back into the way-back machine and come back to the present.